Let's get in between stimulus and response.

Category: Psychology

Ep18:Flip the Script|‎Invisibilia

A quick primer on this episode: this episode is aired in 2016. I am not sure how successful the radicalization prevention program is now in Denmark. Nonthless, it still presents a different way of handling radicalization.

People naturally mirror each other’s actions. This phenomenon is called complementary behavior in psychology. Governments meet radicalization of the youth with restrictions (like taking away their passport) and punishment (capture and try people who came back from Syria). This hostility is then mirrored by the youth who already feel discriminated against and unaccepted. They might actually seek radicalization as a response to the hostility from the general society.

What two policemen in Denmark, Link, and Aarslev, used their intuition to arrive at the non-complementary behavior, offer warmth and love in the face of hostility. They welcomed the youth who were returning back from Syria back to the community. They asked the youth (who already went to Syria or who are thinking about going) for a coffee chat, then get the youth medical treatments (if the youth needed), help them to finish school, find apartments. The police department pairs the youth with mentors who faced similar discriminations growing up yet find success and belonging now. This program was very successful at preventing youth from going to Syria while the other European countries were seeing continuous traffic of radical youth leaving.

It dawned on me that it is not so hard to understand those youth. People find meanings, friendships, identities, recognitions from religions and from many other places. We are all wired to ask ‘who am I, where do I come from, where am I going, what is my purpose in life.

If we are not even meeting people’s physiological and safety needs(personal security, employment, health, property), as well as completely ignoring their needs for love and belonging, esteem and self-actualization, on top of that we show hostility, what could they possibly give back?

In other words, if we want to help people, we can help them according to Maslow’s hierarchy needs. Help them get health care, help them to get employment, help them feel seen, loved, and belong, help them to create their own fate, etc.

Quotes:”They want identity. They want recognition. The youngsters are dying to belong. They are dying to belong.”

“There are still thousands of people who are drawn to the brotherhood or the narrative or the meaning or whatever it is they’re finding in ISIS and the caliphate.”

“Arie Kruglanski, a social psychologist at the University of Maryland who studies violent extremism, states that there are strong correlations between humiliation and the search for an extremist ideology,” he says. Organizations like ISIS take advantage of people who, because of racism or religious or political discrimination, have been pushed to the margins of society.”

Partial Transcript + Additional Reporting: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/07/15/485900076/how-a-danish-town-helped-young-muslims-turn-away-from-isis

Full Transcript: https://www.npr.org/2016/07/15/485904654/read-the-transcript

Ep8. How to redefine your self-worth| How to Be a Better Human

When we introduce ourselves to others with a job title, that is conditioned self worth. Conditioned self worth leads to compare, consume and compete. Unfortunately/fortunately this conditioned self worth has been shaken up during the pandemic.

Can we use this time to better ourselves?

First, have more self compassion. Reject the ‘what I should do’, think about ‘what I can do’, ‘is it a better way to explore’.

Build better habits to combat the wfh decision fatigue.

Balanced the routine out with scheduled wandering time, doing something just for your interest or do nothing at all.

Have at least one friend to have deep conversations with regularly.

Do core emotion check-ins with your loved ones: when is the one time you felt proud/disappointed today?

Take what worked for us during this pandemic and apply it in the future.

The biggest golden nugget in the podcast is ‘productivity is about unleash out the unconditioned self’.

Ep2. How Do I Keep From Being Triggered?|Eckhart Tolle


How do we stop being triggered? Don’t we all want to know the answer to this million-dollar question?

  1. Invite presence into your life regularly.
  2. Once more presence is available, over time your awarness that my ego was just triggered will rise faster and faster.
  3. Once realize your ego was triggered , just shine the light of awarness on the ego. Feel the energy associated with the ego rising in you. Do not try to supress it.
  4. Now you have a concious choice to make. Do I choose to act from the ego even if it does not serve me well or do I choose to act with conciousness?
  5. How do we start to invite more presence in our life? It starts with peaceful situations, in nature. For example, using visual perceptions to sense the life essence of a flower without mentally labeling it as just a flower. The same life force flows in you and the flower. If you access the life essence of the flowers first, you also get in touch with your own conciousness. Let nature teach us stillness.

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